Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Ultimate Explosion!! Week Four in Review

The senior members of the Crushed Optimists staff (i.e. not Nach... otherwise known as the spelling retard of our crew) did take one day to mourn the recent whupping bestowed on our team by the Chicago contingent. I haven't been that depressed since... well... February. I could take a post and go through all the reasons why we shouldn't lose hope, but at the end of the day, we got utterly dominated on national television, and I had to friggin' watch Pink at the beginning (nice takedown on that one, Colin). Seriously, while she was "singing" and the large contingent of fans at my house were grimacing and questioning her sexual orientation, I came to a realization... that Pink could kick my ass (by the way, thanks to Alana Acheson for quickly agreeing with my assessment... didn't take her long to notice my complete lack of muscular definition). In which case, why on earth is she named Pink, instead of some WWE name like Ursula, Thunder Witch or Sheera? All those computer generated fans running into the street look like they're running away from the wrath of Sheera. Look, I love the Hank Williams Jr Monday Night song as much as anyone, and NBC apparently wanted to go as far away from this as possible, so we go with John Williams and Pink. Excuse me while I beat my head against a wall.

Also, does ESPN have ANY say in what games get put on Monday Night? Anyone with the brain the size of a walnut could have told you that Green Bay ON THE ROAD against the Eagles was not going to be the best version of football ever. Does the magic of Brett Favre really make that a legitimate primetime game?

Oh... and the funniest moment of the week has to be Isaiah K signing with the Rams, a moment foretold by Colin last week. I'm still chuckling... and he's probably an improvement on their defense anyways. Seriously, who watches tape of the K-monster and say, "Man, that guy could really upgrade our rushing defense"?

I should probably start writing about this week, even if many of the games bored the crap out of me.

Week Four Results:
Scientific Method: 8-6
Petey Prisco: 11-3
Bill Simmons: 7-7 (also giving him the benefit of the doubt on him picking the Jets over the Colts, then saying "too many points", leading me to believe he was definitely picking against the spread while thinking Indy would win)

Season Standings:
Scientific Method: 42-18
Petey Prisco: 36-24
Bill Simmons: 31-29

What in the World Were They Smoking?

For the first time this season, the Scientific Method looked positively, well, scientific, heading down to the average possibility of a coin flip. How on earth could Colin look so bad compared to Petey Prisco? For starters, by picking the 49ers ON THE ROAD against the Chiefs. Look, I don't care if Frank Gore has looked like the next coming of Christ to open the season. The 49ers were godawful on the road last year, and they didn't disappoint again while traveling to one of the five hardest road stadiums in the league. I don't think the Hawks are going to win in Kansas City, and that's even if our offense is moderately healthy. This is what happens when Colin goes 12-2 and suddenly feels like he could pick anything, even if that "anything" is stupid. Next up on the docket was the Bill Simmons pick of Green Bay to take out the Eagles. As I wrote above, no way this makes sense. You play this game 10 times and at best Green Bay loses by single digits in three of them. Not to outdone by his own lunacy, Simmons ALSO picked Tennessee to beat Dallas. Ummm... Tennessee couldn't even beat themselves in a scrimmage. Jeff Fisher looks like he's pretty much given up on the sidelines and is looking forward to being fired at the end of the year and getting a much cushier job with a GM who isn't a total moron and does things like pick up a QB a week before the season starts and then sits him after two totally explainable bad weeks. Seriously, is there a harder luck QB than Kerry Collins? Would Joe Montana have done well after losing an entire offseason than being asked to learn a new Norm Chow offense the week before the season opener? Signs point to no.

Best Picks of the Week

Kudos to Petey Prisco, the only one of the three prognosticators we track who successfully remembered that Marty Schottenheimer coaches the San Diego Chargers, and would find a way to lose a game on the road to an obviously inferior Baltimore squad. I'm not sure how Marty keeps getting a pass on all these games... it's happened during his entire coaching career. His teams will at least hover around .500, but never bet on them to win the big one. Also, how do you go into "run" mode against a defense as good as the Ravens? All you're doing is giving Baltimore three extra possessions while accomplishing nothing on your end.

The Mad Scientist was the only one who successfully picked Washington to start getting back on track against Jacksonville... the Redskins are going to start winning some games, and soon. As for the Jaguars, Byron Leftwich is making some passes this season that are quite simply, unbelievable... if he could be more consistent he could be a top three QB in this league, and if Reggie Williams could show the heart he did on his 30 yard catch and run he'd be a legitimate #1 WR.

On the last big game of the week, Bill Simmons was the only one who correctly picked his Patriots to rebound bigtime against the Bengals, who were due for their defense to be appropriately exposed. I was starting to become concerned that my large rant against KC Joyner this past summer was going to look bad, but I feel a lot better now, thank you very much.

Biggest Questions of the Week

Of course Seattle's in here, but I'll let the billion other commentors who have already chimed in on this say it for me. Suffice it to say that it was bad, but it will get better. After all, no Isaiah.

Cincinnati, though, should be legitimately concerned about their run defense. I'm not sure how they were doing it beforehand, but they will miss Odell Thurman, even if he is a pot smoking douche. I know that offense is terrific, and the defense can force turnovers, but what happens when the turnovers don't come? The Bengals just don't have an answer...

Another week, another close win for Indianapolis with another weak defensive performance of their own. Pencil them in for the AFC Championship Game and a sub-par effort in a 23-14 loss. You don't make the Jets look this good, I don't care if it's on the road and that Eric Mangini apparently sprinkles pixie dust from the magical lands of Katilalaa on his team before they play. The Jets are bad.

Also, apparently Minnesota wants to help the Bears establish a 14-2 record, because they sure played like garbage. This is what happens when you actually play a decent team now and then (although I'm not sure I'd classify Buffalo as "decent").

I know enough's been written about thsi already, but that two point conversion attempt last Sunday, with Ronnie Brown (a right handed individual) rolling to his left and attempting a halfback pass using his LEFT HAND in the 4th quarter of a game the Dolphins trailed by two might have been the worst play call I can remember. I don't even know how stoned one has to be to call that. Why even have Ronnie Brown? Isn't he supposed to be a good running back? I seem to remember that being the case... and they were playing the friggin' TEXANS, who aren't exactly a brick wall up front. Yeesh.

Oh... and Cris Collinsworth blinks way too much during that Sunday Night show. Someone was shining a flashlight in his eyes or something, because his eyes were motoring up and down, and it was freaking me out.

Most Impressive Performances of the Week

Yes, the Bears are good, and have established themselves as the team to beat in the NFC. How about the Patriots, though? I was especially impressed with Laurence Maroney, who made a few very tough runs were he simply ran over Bengals defenders. One particular stiff arm almost got me out of my recliner (then I remembered I was lazy... and hate the Patriots... but not Tash). I'm not sure how New England was able to cover all those receivers the Bengals have with their injuries, but credit has to be given to the coaching staff for a darn good game plan. That's why New England, even weakened, was always our pick to come out of the AFC East.

Are the Eagles the second best team in the NFC right now? I'm leaning towards a "yes", and it's all about how Donovan McNabb is playing right now. I am very excited to see what he can do against that Dallas defense, because with a good performance I definitely stick them above Seattle right now.

Other good performances include Santana Moss (two unbelievable touchdowns in that thrilling Washington-Jacksonville game) and the St Louis offense, which finally got on track against Detroit... of course the St Louis defense also showed up true to form, which is why the Rams are not a legitimate 3-1 team.

posted by Gavin @ 1:45 PM  2 comments


At 6:48 AM, Anonymous Jacob said...

I'm pretty sure Whitney would have had a better game then Hasselbeck did against the Bears.

At 8:56 AM, Blogger Gavin said...

She would have been good for some rockin' postgame quotes too.


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