Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Scientific Method, Week 8

We can all agree that I normally attack this post with the ferocity and passion of a pair of Vulcans caught in the ancient mating ritual where Spock once almost killed Kirk (a completely believable episode with brilliant acting all around).

However, sadly, I am caught in the throes of a nasal mutiny, where my sinuses have decided to overwhelm the rest of my body, including my brain, and elect themselves "Ruler of all that is Colin". Needless to say, the rest of my body, pummelled into submission, now exists solely to float above time and space, dispensing needed wisdom and jokes to whomever it meets.

In a way, this could be a good predicament for picking games, because science has deserted me the past two weeks, allowing the hated Petey Prisco the ability to catch up to me. This sickens me even more; to be put on par with one of the Peteys. Ouch.

So, here, instead of scientific picks, are the picks solely from my stuffed and clogged nasal cavities. I exist to do what they tell they to do until further notice.

Vote "Yes" on Prop 105. They tell me it doesn't matter what state you live in.

Actually, okay, here's a brief side note. In Arizona you are not allowed to register as an independent; only as a Republican or Democrat. Choosing Evil Incarnate #1, I went with Republican, forever branding myself to the academic community as a fruitcake. I have now, in the past two months, received upwards of two dozen calls from the Republican Party pressuring me to vote. Same with my wife. This leads me to believe one of three possibilities:

1. The Republicans have no better way to spend their money then by cold-calling said Republicans
2. The Republicans know that they are in a world of pain, and are seeking to end that by calling people who live in a state where the races aren't even close
3. Politics are for losers

I'm leaning towards choice #3, personally. Actually, that story also illustrates one other point that had been on my mind this week (see, I'm fighting back against the powers of my sinuses for you, the loyal reader(s)). Arizona State, like every other university, has a student newspaper, and in that student newspaper there exists an opinions section wherein 20 year olds pretend they know everything about the fate of the world. It's awesome, but no article I had read in my three years here came close to rivalling the stupidity of one I read this past Wednesday. The gist of the article was that the problem with our government was that they all had MBAs, which work wonderfully in the business world, and are terrible at developing governmental policy. This uber-genuises solution? Elect individuals with Ph.D.'s, as ACADEMICS had the intelligence and clear hearts necessary to lead our country. As someone who is about to become a Ph.D., I can assure both this author and you that electing academics would be the most idiotic move in the history of democracy. These people still believe in Marxism, people! The only difference between a regular schlub, like Gavin, and a doctor of the academy is that the academic has read a ton more of boring journal articles as well as undergone a few semi-cool research projects. This doesn't mean they are better equipped to lead the country. I would rather say that all leaders must have been a contestent on either "Survivor" or "The Amazing Race", as those shows bring out the wits, the problem-solving abilities, and the people skills that are foundational to governing.

Wow. I actually wrote there. Neat. Here's the picks!

Arizona at Green Bay
I must admit that I'm excited that Detroit has a bye week, so I can not worry about picking them to win once again. However, both these teams are poor to adequate. My sinuses choose:
Scientific Pick: Green Bay

Atlanta at Cincinnati
Michael Vick looked like a real quarterback last week. That can't be true for two weeks in a row. Cincy, by the way, has yet to really bust out offensively.
Scientific Pick: Cincy

Baltimore at New Orleans
New Orleans is 5-1. They are a good team, but I'm not sure if they are 5-1 good. Can I actually pick Baltimore to win this game? Why not?
Scientific Pick: Baltimore

Houston at Tennessee
There's the Gary Kubiak I thought was hired by the Texans. They obliterated the Jags last week, moving the ball at will against a darn good defense.
Scientific Pick: Houston

Jacksonville at Philadelphia
Speaking of Jacksonville, that team is in disarray right now, especially at the quarterback position. It appears that they are starting to realize that Leftwich might not be a prize chicken that everyone says he is.
Scientific Pick: Philly

Seattle at Kansas City
I was all set to pick KC, and then I hear that Brodie Croyle might be making his first start. So on one hand I have Seneca Wallace and Mo Morris, and on the other hand, I have a rookie quarterback and Larry Johnson. Hmmmm. Still have to go with Larry Johnson, I think.
Scientific Pick: Kansas City

San Francisco at Chicago
Must..... fight...... temptation...... to once again........ pick San Francisco........ to win a game.
Scientific Pick: Chicago

Tampa Bay at NY Giants
Isn't it about time for Eli Manning to throw up an absolute stinker, like against Seattle? Yes, probably. Isn't it about time for the Giants secondary to become terrible once again? Yes, probably. Is Tampa Bay the team that can exploit those shortcomings? Yes on 1, No on 2.
Scientific Pick: NY Giants

St. Louis at San Diego
The St. Louis fall back to Planet Earth continues with a special stop to visit LT, Merriman (and he's really mad for some inexplicable reason), and Rivers.
Scientific Pick: San Diego

Indianapolis at Denver
To me, this is the toughtest game of the week to pick. Indy hasn't looked great, especially that defense. Denver hasn't looked great, especially that offense. Thus, the real fight will be between Peyton Manning and that awesome Denver defense. It's still the regular season, right?
Scientific Pick: Indy

NY Jets at Cleveland
Alright, Mangini, you win. I'll pick for y'all to win another game. You make me sick.
Scientific Pick: NY Jets

Pittsburgh at Oakland
Pittsburgh could throw out Charlie Batch in this game and I'd still pick them to win.
Scientific Pick: Pittsburgh

Dallas at Carolina
Tony Romo was a emergency move, and I'm not quite sure why Parcells decided to go down that route. What's the good of escapability if you just end up throwing it to the other team? Carolina, by the way, outplayed Cincy last week.
Scientific Pick: Carolina

New England at Minnesota
I refuse to pick Minnesota to win any time soon out of principle.
Scientific Pick: New England

posted by colin_hesse @ 9:31 AM  0 comments


Post a Comment

<< Home


We Wrote These...