Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Ultimate Explosion!! - Week Two Thoughts

Welcome to this edition of Ultimate Explosion, where I prepare to offer insightful, sarcastic, and knee-jerk analysis of Week Two of the NFL regular season.

Speaking of jerks, welcome to Nach for finally joining the realm of Crushed Optimism, where he can provide us a new bouquet of grammatical/spelling errors with which to show off his history major.

Speaking of myself, this is going to be a quick and fairly poor effort. I'm warning all readers up front. This is going to be an awful post, and not my normal sense of awful, but this will be pure total crap. My reasoning will be worthless, and you might as well be reading Clark Judge or Petey King.

On to the recap... as of last week, the Scientific Method was in the lead over Petey Prisco and Bill Simmons.

SM: 11-5
Petey: 8-8
Billy: 6-10 (yes, we know he picks against the spread, but I think that's lame, so I punish him for it, he writes his picks as Miami OVER Buffalo... not sure why we should give him the benefit of the doubt)

The Week Two results were as follows:

Scientific Method: 11-5 (22-10)
Petey Prisco: 11-5 (19-13)
Bill Simmons: 9-7 (15-17)

In other words, we had three pretty good weeks as all three prognosticators were over .500, and Colin is off to an amazing start, which entails a giant collapse as the weeks go on.

What In The World Were They Smoking?

Oddly enough, no one picked the Cardinals to beat Seattle, so I can't rail against pundits on my favorite soapbox. Prisco, I was especially counting on you.

Let's start with Colin and Simmons, who inexplicably picked the Jets to beat New England. Colin even wrote that it was a stupid pick, apparently realizing that he would incur the wrath of the Ultimate Explosion. Let's see... the Jets are a bad team, the Patriots I picked to be in the Super Bowl. You think I make this pick, no matter how close the Jets made it? No way. I think Simmons just wanted to do this pick now so when he picks them to win the next 14 weeks he can point back and say, "I'm not a pathetic homer, look, here's where I picked them to lose!". Man, he's lame now.

The other "Scientific" pick, and I use the term as loosely as allowed was Colin's pick of the Lions to beat the Bears... at Chicago. The sheer idiocy demonstrated here continues to baffle me... and again, Simmons joined Colin on the idiot-train. Was Pete Prisco actually one of the only reasonable pickers this week? Really? Have we sunk this low? The Bears were almost indestructible at home last season, that defense dominated at home, and the Lions suck on the road. What part of this equation equaled Detroit winning? I'm not totally sold on Rex Grossman, but at least they're scoring points, unlike the 17-6 Kyle Orton-led snoozefests of a year ago.

Honestly, Prisco's picks made overall sense to me. Part of me wants to criticize picking Green Bay over New Orleans, but those were two bad teams playing, and the Packers were up by a bunch at one point. Man, those Packers are bad though, huh? Between them and the Raiders the Scientific Method should be 2-0 to start every week by picking them to lose. I can't believe how pathetic the Raiders look on offense. Why did they drop Kerry Collins and pass on Matt Leinart? This made no sense then and really looks stupid now.

Best Picks Of The Week

I was really impressed by how all three pundits picked the Jaguars last night to beat the Steelers. I sure wouldn't have done that, but apparently I didn't realize just how bad the Steeler rushing attack might be this year. It's not like Jacksonville's offense is still impressive... at all. If that defense has improved, they are going to turn into the 11-5 Baltimore Ravens, make the playoffs, and fall short of the Super Bowl. The Steelers have to be genuinely concerned about two weeks where their offensive line did not control the line of attack. The Hawks aren't the only team with major questions. Other than that, the game was boring as all get out. I think Pitt might also miss Antwaan Randle El, because Santonio Holmes doesn't look that impressive right now (as with most young receivers), and the low scoring game just screamed for one of Ken Whisenhunt's trick plays.

Props also go to SM and Bill Simmons for picking the Vikings to beat the Panthers, even if they did it in an extremely cheap fashion. I'd be stringing up the hangman's noose if I was a Panther fan right now. I don't care if you're without Steve Smith, you win these games... but at least the defense showed up. They'd really be freaking out if Minnesota had pounded them like Atlanta.

Biggest Questions Out Of The Week

Oakland - Will they score? Will the offensive line look legitimate? Will Art Shell explode into a rage of fury and chew through his offensive coordinator's skull? When will Randy Moss explode as well? This is setting up to be a long and awful season for Raider fans. At least they get to see Andrew Walter now... (snicker).

Where is the New England killer instinct? They haven't been able to put away two bad teams in their division to open the season. If not for Tom Brady, they're at least 1-1, if not 0-2. I wrote it last week, I'll write it until they prove me wrong, the Patriots are starting to see the effect of their "it's the system, not the players" mentality. If it was the system, they could draft me to play cornerback. Hint: I'd suck.

Where is the St Louis offense? Only one TD in two weeks of the Scott Linehan offense, and an ugly loss to San Francisco (for the second year in a row). At this stage, Jeff Wilkins is going to be my fantasy MVP, because he keeps kicking field goals. We'll see if Bill Simmons is still on the bandwagon next week.

What the heck has happened to Washington, and especially to that defense? That offense looks incredibly abysmal, and it can't be just because Clinton Portis has been hurt. Mark Brunell was missing wide open receivers and they just can't seem to find Santana Moss or Chris Cooley. Find the playmakers who made you a surprise last year or look forward to a high draft pick, because the road doesn't get any easier.

Most Impressive Performances Of The Week

I suppose this has to start with Chicago, who look like the best team in the NFC right now (which is pretty hard for me to swallow, but that offense is playing in midseason form now, while we still are dropping passes and throwing costly picks.

Atlanta's rushing offense continues to be impressive as Jim Mora has established a Vince Young-style attack... it will be interesting to see how opposing defenses adjust. Personally, I'd throw ten into the box and dare the wide receivers to beat me deep. Also, Warrick Dunn is carrying the ball too much, and you don't want him to wear down.

Of course the NY Giants comeback was good, but no way Philly lets that happen. I got flashbacks to that awful St Louis loss a couple of years ago. The Hawks never truly recovered, and I don't know if Philadelphia can either. Eli Manning continues to play poorly and get bailed out by his playmakers. I'm not as concerned about this team as I would have been last year coming in to next week, but more on that later this week.

I like the Chargers... a ton. Man, that team looks good, and Philip Rivers looks like he was ready to take the reins. They may hit some bumps (new quarterback), but with Denver and Kansas City already looking weak, the Chargers are easily the current class of the AFC West. Have to like Shawne Merriman... if Lofa Tatupu had to lose to someone for Defensive Rookie of the Year, I'm glad it was him. He's a beast.

I'm probably missing a few more performances, but I already said this post would be awful, so I suppose you'll have to deal. T-minus five days until NY comes to town!

posted by Gavin @ 2:05 PM  0 comments


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