Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Friday, September 15, 2006

The Scientific Method: Week Two

Nothing...... NOTHING makes me more ready to write this post every week then after reading the weekly mailed in attempt by my former all-time favorite sportswriter Bill Simmons.

Seriously. Every week..... "Pats rule, Pats rule (even when I pick against them), lame reference to some porno movie, lame reference to some lame reality show, lame reference to some "face" that you believe you created, Pats rule, etc."

Sigh. I remember when you were cool, man. Remember? When you were cool? Now..... I just don't know anymore. The world isn't what it used to be. You're officially (I hate to do this) off my Christmas card list.

Fortunately, I learned through the miracle of Gavin actually posting that I kicked Simmon's (apostrophe for Gavin's sake) a** last week, so here's hoping that continues!

Buffalo at Miami
Do I go with the Buffalo Bills that showed up in the 1st half against New England? The ones that, um, couldn't defend the run and couldn't go for the jugular against a team just begging to be beaten? Or do I go with Miami, a team that REALLY couldn't stop the run and showed a shocking tendency to absolutely suck with the game on the line? Decisions, decisions..... wait. Who's coaching the Bills? Dick Jauron?
Scientific Pick: Miami

Carolina at Minnesota
That noise you hear is the sound of thousands of people all jumping off the Carolina bandwagon, which ticks me off. If you really thought they were the best team in the NFL going into the season, why would you stop thinking that after only one game played, a game they played without their key offensive weapon? Here's the problem for me with this game. Minny looked terrific on Monday. Hutch was amazing, Brad Johnson was his old predictable self, and the defense shut down that vaunted (snicker) Washington offense. But you have to think that the Carolina defense, after getting embarrassed by Michael Vick, will be ready to rumble come Sunday. This game is a toss-up to me, which I hate, because I usually pick these wrong.
Scientific Pick: Minnesota

Cleveland at Cincinnati
Finally, an easy game (you would think) to pick. You have a craptastic team who just got manhandled, at home, by the New Orleans Saints. You also have a good team that looked efficient and strong in beating the Chiefs on the road. Seriously, Carson Palmer didn't even need to break a sweat in that game, and, yes, it was over way before Trent Green got poleaxed. There will be a ton of Rudi in this game, and the Bengals will win big, buoyed by their fervent home fans and their home opener.
Scientific Pick: Cincy

Detroit at Chicago
Last week I trusted that Brett Favre would have one last swing at glory and upend the Chicago Bears. Instead, he got shut out by the Bears. The defense looked fantastic, and even Rex Grossman showed signs of life. As for Detroit.... that offense looked like it has a long way to go before it becomes watchable, and the Hawks made the defense look like a beast. Thus, you gotta go with...
Scientific Pick: Detroit (suckers. Shaun Rodgers rules!)

Houston at Indianapolis
When you have a furniture store that belives in you so little, they are willing to give away $3000 in furniture to a boatload of fans just IF YOU WIN, you know that it isn't going to be your year. When you have to trade for Samkon Gado because of your running back situation, you know, ONCE AGAIN, how stupid you were for drafting Mario Williams ahead of Reggie Bush. Williams, by the way, did absolutely jack squat in Week One. Sure, Indy can't run the football. Shucks. I guess that just means that Peyton Manning might have to throw the ball a lot. Gee, that never works.
Scientific Pick: Indy

New Orleans at Green Bay
The Reggie Bush Experience began with a bang last Sunday. No, he didn't have amazing numbers, but he had every eye in the stadium trained on him every play he was on the field. By the way, that's not too shabby in New Orleans to have Deuce and Reggie sharing the load there, huh? By the way, Green Bay absolutely sucks. I am not, not, going to pick them in the near future. If you read me picking them, by all means make fun of me. I'll deserve it.
Scientific Pick: New Orleans

NY Giants at Philadelphia
Bill Simmons can't stop patting himself on the back for predicting that Philly would have a good team. Wow, stud, you really think you were the only one who thought that might be possible? Did you ALSO stop to think about the fact that they played HOUSTON last week and that their schedule the rest of the way is ridiculous? As for the Giants, you had to love the way that Tiki Barber sliced through the Indy defense on Sunday night. That secondary, though..... woof. Is Stallworth the answer for Philly's receiver woes? No.
Scientific Pick: NY Giants

Oakland at Baltimore
Man, Baltimore fans are going to be insufferable after this one. Yes, you'll win. Yes, you'll probably win large. But that won't mean a single thing, people. Not against Oakland. At home. It almost makes me want Oakland to win just to shut up Baltimore fans. I just can't, in any way, actually predict that to happen. I just can't.
Scientific Pick: Baltimore

Tampa Bay at Atlanta
Michael Vick! Yeah! Michael Vick! MmmmmMmmmm munch MmmmmMmmmm, ooooooh, Michael! This just in, everybody. He went 10-22. Warrick Dunn SOMEHOW went for 150 yards rushing the football, which is just nuts. Does anyone think that Tampa Bay's defense is going to be a little jazzed heading into this game? And that Cadillac Williams might gain more than 20 yards in this game?
Scientific Pick: Tampa Bay

Arizona at Seattle
Normal Patriots fan, like Bill Simmons, pre-Deion Branch trade - "He's an awesome wide receiver who will help us win a Super Bowl. He's a proven winner, Super Bowl MVP, and Tom Brady's favorite target. Great wide receiver."
Normal Patriots fan, like Bill Simmons, post-Deion Branch trade - "He's an ok wide receiver who is vastly overrated and who the Seahawks, in a panic, overpayed for with a 1st round pick. We are still a good enough team to win the Super Bowl with Reche Caldwell and Doug Gabriel as our best two wide receivers."
Have I mentioned how much Pats fans irritate me, sometimes (except for you, Tash :) )?
Scientific Pick: Seattle

St. Louis at San Francisco
Another annoying Simmons self-kiss about how the St. Louis bandwagon is now filling up. No, it's not, and if it is, that's incredibly stupid. They won by having to kick six field goals and goading Jake Plummer into having a Jake Plummer type of day, especially in Week One. Again, people are reading way too much into that. People are also now gooing over Frank Gore after he sliced through the Arizona defense. People, THAT WAS THE ARIZONA DEFENSE!! HELLO!! ARIZONA!! Two teams slightly overrated after only one week. Sheesh.
Scientific Pick: St. Louis

Kansas City at Denver
When you have a backup QB as bad as Damon Huard starting the game for you, there is really nothing left to analyze. So I won't write anything else. Except for this: Jake Plummer should be the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos this season. I'm serious. If Shanahan panics, their Super hopes are over.
Scientific Pick: Denver

New England at NY Jets
Chad Pennington as offensive player of the week? Oooooo-kay, that was unexpected. New England not being able to throw the football? Ooooooo-kay, that was expected. Laurence Maroney getting uber-love simply because he's on New England? Oooooo-kay, that was also expected (the Bills D sucked against the run last year, everyone). You know what? This is an incredibly stupid pick, but I don't care.
Scientific Pick: NY Jets

Tennessee at San Diego
Number of times Phillip Rivers will actually have to throw the football during this game? 11.
Scientific Pick: San Diego

Washington at Dallas
It's difficult to express how disappointing Washington's defense looked on Monday night. This was supposed to be a top-3 defense, but they made Brad Johnson look extraordinary, and Chester Taylor ran right through them. If that's a sign of things to come, ouch. Dallas is further realizing that Drew Bledsoe isn't super-awesome (you would think that people would remember that before picking them to reach the Super Bowl every year) and Tony Romo might be getting the job. Both teams are hurting after Week One and really need to win. Honestly, I'm interested in this game and will definitely tune in (another example where the NBC game is WAY better than the ESPN game). I also will have to flip a coin on who will win this game. Answer: heads.
Scientific Pick: Dallas

Pittsburgh at Jacksonville
Refs heart Pittsburgh. That's for sure. More surprisingly, Fred Taylor looked mobile against the Dallas defense, and the wide receivers showed up in tandem (several catches for Jones, Wilford, and Williams). However, the Pittsburgh defense looked spectacular. Honestly, both defenses looked good, while both offenses looked a tad lucky in their performances. Ok, here we go....
Scientific Pick: Jacksonville

posted by colin_hesse @ 10:47 AM  8 comments


At 3:35 PM, Anonymous eric said...

Are you picking heads up or against the spread?

Simmons may be annoying on his Pats and so on, but to compare with him remember he is picking vs the spread.

At 4:09 PM, Blogger colin_hesse said...

You'd have to ask Gavin, I just went off of his post....

At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Eric said...

For example you guys ranked on his pick of the Bills in week 1, but he was right they covered.

I'm tuned into this becasue I have two pick-em entries on Yahoo Sports, Sports Spot's league is simply pick the winner, one of my friends has one where it is against the spread, ups the level of difficulty exponentially

At 7:24 PM, Blogger Gavin said...

I know he does the whole spread-thing, which I feel is a cheap retarded way to pick games, and I refuse to buy into it.

At 11:10 PM, Anonymous eric said...

If your gambling it the only way to pick games:-)

At 11:25 PM, Blogger Gavin said...

Very true... and I know Simmons likes to think he's "in the know", even if he's shown himself to basically be a total poser. Therefore I punish him.

At 2:41 PM, Blogger Tash said...

Deion Branch is the leagues best 2 wide receiver - but he's not shown he can be more then that. You'll notice how he can just disappear in games when defensives keep a close watch on him.

He's great when he's going deep down the middle of the field that’s something to watch for right away. Great character guy - and he'll make any team better - but he's not worth 38 million.

I guess I have to root against you guys now so that first round pick can be a good one...

At 2:44 PM, Blogger Tash said...

Correction - Reggie Wayne is the NFL's best # 2 wide-out


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