Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

F*&$ it: The Remainder of the Probable Playoff Teams

Naughty language above! That was the wife's idea, don't blame me!

Welcome back, people of the internet! I am Colin, last known in Chandler, now freshly moved to East Eeeeeeeaast Mesa, where the only aspect of town more fun then the desert are the multitude of retirement communities all around you! Awesome!

My back has started to congeal after moving furniture for the last week, including one hellish hide-a-bed that, if I had my way, would cease to exist on this corporeal frame. The only two tasks that remain (that I care anything about, ipso facto NOT where to hang various pictures) are to buy a grill (apartments in Arizona don't allow you to have one for some stupid reason against happiness) and convincing my wife that NOW if the time to get that new HDTV instead of the 20 inch crap-o-rama that currently sits, very sadly, on our TV stand. I figure that if I point out to her the numerous benefits of getting a new TV (seeing football larger than life, playing Madden 2007 larger than life, not needing to talk to each other any more) she's bound to let me go out and get it. Cross your fingers!

However, internet is finally connected, which means that I can finally write again, which is good since Gavin decided that writing was for the pansies and that, since he had a "real life", he wasn't able to blog at all. The excuse sounded strangely familiar.....

Speaking of excuses, Gavin and I don't apologize at all for this, but are giving you our other possible playoff teams in one final bluh of guess-dom. The final group is the actual contenders, which we will unveil at a later time. Like Friday. Or even tomorrow if Gavin feels like it. Not today, though. Don't come back here today.

You hear me?

Tampa Bay Bucs:
Jon Gruden reaffirmed his guru status in vaulting this team past the rebuilding phase in less than one season. It helped with having the offensive rookie of the year in Cadillac Williams, having Joey Galloway actually become a #1 receiver, and having a healthy Derrick Brooks lead the defense back into dominant territory. Their hopes for the season, however, lie squarely on the un-clutch shoulders of Chris Simms, who has yet to meet a big game that he can't lose in some fashion. The love heaped on Simms while he was in the process of getting destroyed by Washington last year in the playoffs was mindboggling.

NY Giants:
Sports Illustrated has the Hawks losing (AT HOME) to the Giants in the postseason. I'm going to go ahead and call a false start penalty on that prediction. Suffice it to say that Eli regressed over the second half of the season, Tiki is one year older (and he was already past his prime in years), Tom Coughlin is still one scary son-of-a-gun, and their secondary sucks worse than ours. This team could go anywhere from first to last in the NFC East, because if they start losing, that entire team is going to quit on Coughlin.

San Diego:
This team was elite-caliber last year, so the GM decided to shake things up and get rid of the proven veteran in exchange for an unproven 3rd year quarterback who has never started an NFL game. Real smart, man. Real smart. Fortunately Tomlinson is still around to be awesome, as is Gates, and Merriman, etc., but this team also happens to be coached by one Marty S., so there's no way this team goes past the second round of the playoffs. If that.

Kansas City:
Last call for this team. Trent Green is one big hit away from being done. Same with Tony Gonzalez. Larry Johnson will have to run behind an aging offensive line that just lost their best player in Willie Roaf. And their defense, even with the elder statesman that is Ty Law, just isn't very good. But they have Herm Edwards! And we all know (or have been told) that Herm Edwards is a great coach, right?!

Miami:
For all the people jumping off the New England bandwagon o' love and jumping on the Dolphins bandwagon, I have this to say....... Tom Brady vs. Daunte Culpepper. This is the same Culpepper who would have given Brett Favre a run for his money in the INT category last season even before his injury, who has been remarkably inconsistent throughout his career, and has never won a big game. Tom Brady has won several big games, and has several large rings to show for it. I'll believe that the Dolphins are a better team when I see them playing further into the postseason than New England. Not before.

Chicago:
This team should make the postseason for the same reason that the Hawks should make the postseason. If not them in the NFC North, who else? Their defense is still scary-good, Thomas Jones is a decent back, and Brian Griese is waiting for his chance to show the Bears what it feels like to have a competent quarterback under center. How long will Grossman's leash be? That might decide home field advantage in the NFC.

Cincinatti:
Honestly, Gavin and I created this list before Carson Palmer lit it up on Monday Night Preseason Football. Of course, Carson Palmer lit it up 1) in the preseason, and 2) against the Green Bay Packers, so not all is well in Cincy land. Also, the team seems to land in jail pretty frequently, and that defense is still not very good, especially with Odell Thurman suspended for the first four games. That offense is championship caliber with a healhty Palmer, but the defense might still hold them back.

Pittsburgh:
Every break that could go right did go right for the Steelers last year. Yes, I'm still bitter. Bite me. No, I don't think they have a chance of repeating. Yes, I feel there are three teams in the AFC better than the boys of Steel. No, I don't think Willie Parker is a great everydown back. No, I don't think that secondary is super-awesome. Yes, Joey Porter is more hype than talent. Yes, BIll Cowher will be a distraction.

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