Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

One Month Before Readability Returns!

Hey, there!

Sick and tired of stupid posts about World Cup soccer where we, at first, talk about how much we love the World Cup and, then, after the US loses, we talk about how much the World Cup is pretty much on the same level as "Pride and Prejudice"?

Frustrated at Colin posting about once a week, and, when he does, it's usually some rambling post about academics, random bits of movie stuff that only Colin would find funny, and subtle jabs at Gavin and you, our valued readers?

Worn out after reading Gavin's looooong posts about the NBA Draft where it was evident within the first few paragraphs that Gavin a) had no idea what he was talking about and b) didn't really care about what he was writing about?

Just wish that Jeff Sawatsky would finally remember that he was supposed to be a guest writer during the World Cup and put spaces between his paragraphs?

On top of that, you're probably depressed because the Mariners turned on the suck juice before the All-Star break, highlighted by one Carl Everett, the Sonics drafted a guy who's played less basketball than both Gavin and myself (but he's from Senegal! YES!), Petey Prisco took a mini-summer vacation before coming back to write a completely FANTASTIC article about who was the most overrated and underrated player from each NFL team (My favorite? He claims that LB Dan Morgan is the most overrated player on the Carolina Panthers. This leaves me with one question..... who the *&$! overrates Dan Morgan? Who writes glowing, posterior-kissing articles about the all-world talents of Dan Morgan?), Petey King took a mini-summer vacation before writing about what he would do if he was commissioner for a day (Hint, Petey: No one wants to see a 50 yard field goal, for some reason, worth four points instead of three. And, please, no more fake crowd noise where the crowd is chanting.... Akers! Akers! Akers! Remember, we talked about when you tried to write like that before, hmmmm? We remarked that it resembled something that could be typed out by my dog's humongous wang (seriously, folks, for a small dog.... wowsers) and that you should stick to simply writing analysis about East Coast teams and high school girls' lacrosse?), and, generally, there just doesn't seem to be much out there that stimulates the ol' writing bug in either Gavin or myself.

Fear not.

Training camps are beginning soon. Training camps mean poor analysis. Those lead to preseason games, which leads to awful preseason picks by people like Fat Lenny, The One Called Golic, and the Judge-i-Nator. Those lead to actual NFL games, where we can participate in bashing of the Cardinals while ESPN continues to allow Jeremy Green to write GLOWING articles about what a great coach Dennis Green (who, um, just happens to be the ol' daddy).

The Crushed Optimists will then rise again! Like a phoenix! Except we haven't died on the outside, only on the inside (though, at the rate that Gavin's eating those Double Quarter Pounders....)!

Until then, continue to read Dr. Detecto's great stuff on player analysis, Lookout Landing's fantastic post-game write-ups, and USSMariner's (heavenly music befitting the gods) take on the M's and, indeed, your lives, puny mortals (just don't disagree with them. That angers the gods). Gavin and I will still do our every-now-and-then posts that make little to no sense. Feel free to skim those and, instead, write us comments about how much YOU know compared to us, the mistakes that we have made in our posts because we are idiots, or how we shouldn't write about soccer because our skin comes from the US. We treasure those. I, for one, usually print them out, leave them on the end table, and then my dog eats them while my back is turned and regurgitates them, as his stomach can't handle that kind of crap.

Just kidding. No one comments here. Did I mention I just woke up? Awesome.

Well, wanted to give you readers a heads-up. Come the end of training camp and the beginning of the preseason, this blog will become a lot busier. And by that time, Jeff might actually write a preview of the World Cup!

posted by colin_hesse @ 8:28 AM  1 comments


At 11:31 AM, Blogger Psychobabble said...

Heaven help me, I'm ashamed to admit it, but yes, I was getting tired of the world cup.
Eh, I feel the same way about the Winston Cup, the Kentucky Derby, the SuperBowl,and occasionally the olympics.
I'm just bad at sports watching.


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