Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Attack of the C-Rex

I have to admit, even with my continued declarations of apathy towards the Mariners this year, I still get swept up in individual games like last night. My heart collapsed with the grand slam (seriously, how many of those are we going to have to witness this year?) and I pretty much thought it was all over, with how effective the Minnesota bullpen is. Yet for some reason I still watched, until Carl Friggin' Everett sent me out of my chair with a fist pump. I'll say this for C-Rex, he at least knows how to hit game winning home runs, and this means the M's have now won 6 of 7. Another high in an undulating sine wave of mediocrity.

I don't normally do this, but with the excitement (and since it was Carl Everett), I decided to check out the game thread at USS Mariner. I remember the general reaction last time was, "Glad the M's won... Hate Carl Everett". Then I remembered how entertained I am by game threads in general. (Note: the following is an extension of my anal retentive nature, combined with years of hating Instant Messenger). Game Threads do serve a useful purpose of giving fans something to do during an otherwise boring game... "the windup... steps off the rubber... hitter adjusts his gloves..." all that crap. Instead we can complain together about Mike Hargrove. I also especially appreciate USSM, since they make efforts at keeping away those who failed fourth grade English, the desecrators of all that is sacred (I firmly believe that the rise of text messaging dooms us all to speaking in acronyms and without the Shift key by 2030). You know those posts, "omg i cant beleve lopez bnted agin mike hargrves an ediot lol". lol always cracks me up because it looks like a TIE fighter in lower case. I like TIE fighters.

Back to the rambling. Even a decent game thread like USSM has a tendency to break down when a momentous event happens, like Carlosaurus' blast to right field. Really, how do you write jumping up from the couch with a fist pump? Instead you get random posts like "WHEEEEEEE", where the writer apparently is reliving his glory days from Thunder Mountain Railroad (which I will be riding with Colin in a little over a week), or "NO WAY!!!", with extra exclamation points (always a necessity, especially with the always-on Ultimate Explosion!!). Other random incoherent muttering always works too, preferably a clever one liner illustrating Everett's penchant for hating gay people (perhaps he's a Christianist? Only Andrew Sullivan, arbiter of all that is holy, knows for sure). Personally, I would add to a game thread an action, like "Gavin slowly arose from his seat, where he had been despondently watching a lame game with his dog, glanced up at the ceiling, and let out a quiet satisfied expletive". See how much cooler that is? I thought so.

A random further note about game threads... what is it about a thread of a freaking Mariner game that makes forty year old men enter "flame wars". You know these people wouldn't say anything, but hidden behind the genius disguise of "fred1hottie" they snipe with their razor sharp wit. I always find it entertaining, as grown men acting like three year-olds is. If you really want to get fired up and yell, go to the Democratic Underground, but seriously, leave the game thread of a freaking sports game alone. Unless you're a Steelers fan, and then go to hell.

posted by Gavin @ 10:39 AM  0 comments


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