Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Ultimate Explosion!!

I've decided that sports talk radio can really annoy me. Here's reason #1028:

Radio Host: "Let's go to the phones. Here's Annoying Jackass in Seattle... AJ, you're on."
A.J.: "How's it going, Host?"
Host: "Fine. What's up?"
A.J.: Launches into ill-conceived diatribe about whatever topic is out in the sports world.

At this point I think we all know that I can be a jerk, and a picky jerk at that, but why in the world does every single idiot who calls the radio ask that stupid "how's it going" question? It's beyond asinine. A. You don't care. B. The Radio Host isn't going to tell you that he just got divorced or his toast was burnt and his knee hurts because it's going to rain. C. It's another fifteen seconds of my life you're stealing before your lame comments.

Next time you listen to the radio, see what I mean. Fingernails on a chalkboard.

Reason #3 (yes, it's that high): That point in the M's season when a radio host (this time Dave SOFTY MAAAAhler) decides that the problem with the M's is that they aren't tinkering with the lineup more and the solution is... more Willie Bloomquist, who is our best hitter right now. Christ. And so it begins again.

Now, sports radio can also be entertaining. Where else do you hear John Clayton tell a backstory behind not being able to answer a question the previous week due to an attractive Steeler fan showing him a tatoo on an interesting location while on-air. Hearing the story and then hearing the clip was one of the better moments of my week.

Speaking of the Steelers, apparently Hines Ward is now a jerk. Great, and I used to like him. But seriously, if it requires a front page story to have some ESPN writers go along with you to see you do good deeds, you have a big head. If you refuse to help Santonio Holmes, you have a big head. If you're friggin' trash talking Peyton Manning, then it's another strike. Basically, I have to commit to my current Steeler fan hiatus.

Another good wide receiver, Jimmy Smith, just called it quits, resigning the Jacksonville Jaguars to be a huge disappointment this season unless they make a big move between now and the beginning of the year. Would you feel comfortable with Ernest Wilford as your #1 receiver? Why not go get Jerheme Urban (the Willie Bloomquist of the Hawks) from us instead? Above I link to an ESPN article from Jeremy Green. My favorite line? "Jacksonville had a favorable schedule last season that resulted in a 12-4 regular season. It also became apparent in the playoffs that they did not have 12-4 talent." Amen.

As you have probably noticed by now, Colin and I are becoming a bit more stat-head inclined when it comes to football, although since the sample size of each season is so small, it is more difficult to predict future numbers. However, some people out there are defining some interesting new statistics and KC Joyner is one of them. I highly recommend his new evaluation of wide receivers. Simple to understand, and far better than just "yards per catch".

Finally, Seattle cracks me up sometimes, basically because we're chock full of hippies that try and make an impact sometimes, and usually do, but when they come up short it is a never ending laugh riot. Case in point? This "Sonics protest" yesterday that attracted the Seattle Times but apparently only two dozen others. Ouch. Also, next time you schedule a protest to sway city leaders to focus more on poverty and such you might want to make sure they're in the actual country. Just a thought.

Does this make sense to anyone? "Dressed as The Tin Man, Queen Anne resident Richard Littleton stood under a little tent and said he was hoping to steer politicians to worthier, more compassionate causes: "The Emerald City gave me a heart and I'm going to return the favor and give this heart back to the city."" What? Can we diagram this out?

Better luck next time. Let me know when it's happening. I'll be Traxus, Destroyer of Galaxies.

posted by Gavin @ 1:47 PM  0 comments

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