Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Seahawks, Kiss The 2006 Season Goodbye....

It's official, Seahawks fans.

Your Seattle Seahawks WILL fail to qualify for the 2006 NFL postseason.

Again, it WILL happen. Don't bet money on the Hawks. Don't cheer for the Hawks. Don't DARE believe in the Hawks.


Well (notice, by the way, the excellent Steve Kelley impression right now, with one sentence paragraphs that have filled several lines without saying anything at all), some might say that it is because of the crushing loss of J.J. and Hutch, as well as Mike Holmgren still aching from the Super Bowl and Shaun discovering that, due to the presence of his millions of dollars, he doesn't have to block anymore.

Some might say that offensive guru Scott Linehan will mesh with the St. Louis Rams and return them to the promised land, or that Kurt Warner will call on his favorite person (Jesus? No. His wife.) and get the strength and purity of heart to stay healthy and propel the Cardinals to the NFC West title (a chill just went down my spine).

However, the truly enlightened (including several talking heads on esspen) know that the Seahawks are doomed because they have fallen under the spell of two HORRIBLE NFL curses. First, they are the Super Bowl loser. The loser of the Super Bowl has failed to make the postseason in each of the last five seasons, including supposed powerhouses like Tampa Bay, Philly, and Oakland. Second, and more importantly, a Seahawk (namely, Shaun) is featured on the cover of Madden 2007.


Donovan McNabb last year? Injured. Mike Vick? Injured. Marshall Faulk? Injured. Ray Lewis? Sub-par year.

Shaun is, thus, headed to the DL at some point this season, and will experience a sub-par year in addition.

But, at the very least, A SEAHAWK IS FEATURED ON MADDEN 2007!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! Seriously, at no point in my lifetime did I seriously expect a Seahawk to be on that cover. That's like the Holy Grail of game covers, and pushes the chances up to about 170% that I will purchase this game for the XBox 360 (First thing I will do in that game? Replay the Super Bowl on Easy and beat Pittsburgh by about 200 points while trying to injure Jerome Bettis on every play that he is in).

Jokes aside, this is for sure. The Seahawks are going to be under the spotlight next season in a way that they have never seen. Their games will be scrutinized more, losses will be highlighted as crushing blows, and every post-game quote by Shaun or Holmgren will be plastered on ESPN bulletin boards. A lot of people are expecting the Hawks to wilter under this scrutiny, sort of like how a number of them wilted in Detroit last February, and these sort of "curses" will just encourage those sort of people to further believe that the Hawks were a fluke.

Bring it on.

I'm gone this weekend, but will be back with (hopefully) more stuff next week. School is winding down, which means more actual work to do.

posted by colin_hesse @ 2:27 PM  5 comments


At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Either "wilt" or "wither" would have worked in that context. "Wilter"? Not so much a real word. Ingenious, though. I'm probably the only one who cares.

-Brady Acheson

At 10:10 AM, Blogger nach said...

nerd. I'm not evEn going to capaTalize coreectly beCause you'Re such a nerd. Guess who's maybe gonna teach some students how to play baseball this week? Got a job yet Brady?

At 3:36 PM, Anonymous dansparks81 said...

Just curious. Exactly when did Tampa Bay loose the SuperBowl?

At 4:40 PM, Blogger colin_hesse said...

Um, they didn't. That would be Oakland. I'm an idiot.

At 6:46 PM, Anonymous Jacob A. said...

How will the Hawks reach the playoffs in 2006?

NFC West.

Oh, yeah and our team isn't to shabby either.


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