Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Paying Attention to the AL Playoffs

The AL is down to this:

The New York Yankees against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

The Boston Red Sox against the Chicago White Sox

Translation: Four Hated Teams - One Team Will Go To The World Series

Reasons Not to Cheer For These Teams:

New York Yankees:
-- Commonly known as the *&#$-ing *%%$-head &%$#-ees
-- Alex Rodriguez. I don't hate him like I used to, but, c'mon.... Plus, you get the added bonus of him usually becoming the anti-clutch in big games
-- The media gets to kiss George Steinbrenner's butt continuously
-- Having to watch Al Leiter or Tanyon Sturtze pitch
-- Hearing about Derek Jeter being the greatest player of all time
-- Understanding that they have a $200 million payroll and barely squeaked into the playoffs over a $40 million payroll in Cleveland
-- Hearing how Robinson Cano is an amazing player
-- Having to watch Bernie Williams in center field
-- Yankee fans, who just might be the most annoying group of people on the face of the earth (until I get to Boston fans)
-- Jerk extraordinaire Gary Sheffield, who rivals only Bonds and Kent as uber-jerks
-- The cheater Jason Giambi gets to be hailed as a hero, when, in reality, he is a cheater
-- Watching said Giambi play 1st base
-- Mariano Rivera. He's just too good. It's boring.

Boston Red Sox:
-- Also known as the &%$^-ing &%^*-head ^#%# - Sox
-- Boston sports fans, who have the worst complex I have ever heard of in the world of sports. They continually claim themselves as the underdogs, or America's team, or some such crap. I liked them as lovable losers a lot more
-- David Wells, who is just a slob who somehow heaves the ball over to the plate
-- Seeing Manny Ramirez play left field
-- Watching Johnny Damon throw from center field
-- Watching Edgar Renteria flail at the plate
-- Hearing about how "clutch" this team is
-- Hearing the team call themselves "idiots"
-- Reading the Sports Guy forget about the existence of anything else in the world of sports
-- Watching the media treat the Yankees and the Red Sox as the best thing in the history of sports, overanalyzing EVERYTHING about each player on the roster
-- Curt Schilling, who just needs to stop. I don't want to hear about your bloody sock any more, ok?

Fighting Erstads:
-- Hearing the word "scrappy" around five kagillion times
-- The stupid monkey, who needs to contract a disease or choke on his own feces
-- The aforementioned Erstad
-- Chone Figgans for MVP - talk
-- Rex Hudler, who is just terrible
-- Watching the behemoth that once was a man (Bartolo Colon)
-- Watching their cheater (Brandon Donnelly)
-- Their clutch hitting makes one pine for the Minnesota Twins
-- Remembering that John Lackey was terrible until this year
-- Thunder-Stix
-- The knowledge that this team allowed the Seattle Mariners to sweep them not once, but twice. That, in and of itself, should keep a team out of the postseason.
-- The simple fact that they suck and I, as a Mariners fan, hate them with a passion

Chicago White Sox:
-- Ozzie Guillen, who has to be one of the most overrated managers I have ever heard of and ever will. This is a man who willed his team to almost choke away a 15 game lead, overusing his bullpen, continuously bunting in the 1st inning.... GAH!
-- The Capitol One Ads with David Spade. Somehow I blame Chicago for this.
-- This gives Jay Mariotti more to talk about.
-- The Scott Podsednik for MVP debate, he of the 0 home runs.
-- The jerk brigade of Carl Everett, A.J. Pierzynski, and Damaso Marte
-- Knowing that Dustin Hermanson somehow saved a ton of games for these guys
-- The knowledge that I have to watch this offense for several more games
-- Knowing that these guys kept the Indians out of the postseason
-- Jon Garland
-- Jose Contreras
-- The fact that the White Sox suck

So..... hmmmm..... who to cheer for?

The Yankees obviously are out. Same with the Red Sox.

So, that leaves the Angels and the White Sox.

The White Sox have been without a championship for umpteen years, so, unless I start hearing their fans becoming *&%^-heads like Boston, I have to go with them.

Who do I think will win?

Yankees over Angels
White Sox over Red Sox

White Sox over Yankees

Well, whatever.

Now, the NL teams I actually like. My predictions:

Cardinals over Padres
Astros over Braves

Cardinals over Astros

World Series:
Cardinals over White Sox

posted by colin_hesse @ 1:39 PM  0 comments


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