Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

MLB Playoffs

Deanna over at Seattle Marinerds is much better at this, but here is my take:

An imagined conversation at ESPN between John Kruk, Larry Bowa, various other ESPN personalities, and Stuart Scott:

Scott: "Booyah! Hey, dawgs, you catch any of these here playoffs? What up with dat, fools?"

Kruk: *Grunt* "Me mad at mighty A-Rod for mighty choking. Where corn dog?"

Bowa: "BBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! OZZIE GUILLEN IS A GENUIS! ALL BOW DOWN TO THE POWER OF THE BOWA!!!!!"

Paige: *puts on stupid glasses* "Well, as you can see from my pretend chart, the knowledge of the Angels and the White Sox, the over-clutchness, and Scott Podsednik overcame the vast disparity in talent of the (angels sing in distance) Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees."

Scott: "Sure, but what are we going to talk about now? The Red Sox and the Yankees are both gone? What else is there in baseball?"

Kornheiser: "We continue to talk about New York and Boston, whether that's the choking of A-Rod, the need to fire Joe Torre, the horrible starting pitching of both squads.... whatever. We need to talk about them every day, letting people forget that the playoffs are still going on."

Kruk: *puts down corn dog, wipes ketchup off face* "The problem *swallow* with the Yankees is that they were TOO good. You know? Too good."

Bowa: *looks at Kruk in amazement* "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!! LISTEN TO ME!! I AM LOUD!!! THE YANKEES LOST BECAUSE OF GEORGE STEINBRENNER!!"

Shapiro: *musing* "Maybe we could, somehow, get T.O. to play center field for the Yankees next year, providing us with even MORE of an excuse to not pay attention to any baseball outside of Boston and New York."

Wilbon: "Um, not to be seen as the only smart guy here, which I am, but it really seems like we do only pay attention to these two teams, and then it looks pretty stupid when they both don't advance past the 1st round of the playoffs. I mean, we hyped EVERY SINGLE regular season game as if it were the coming of the apocolypse! We were hyping those games MORE then we are hyping the ALCS! Why is that?"

*Silence*

Kruk: "Where's another corn dog?"

Paige: "Anyways, allow me to talk about the greatness of Gary Sheffield...."

Kornheiser: "The Bronx! The Bronx!"

Bayless: "The New York Yankees are an abomination, not unlike myself....."

Bowa: *frothing at the mouth* "BAAAAH!! BAAAAH!"

Shapiro: *shoots Bowa with a tranquilizer gun* "Must..... Create..... Boston/New York montage.... For.... No.... Apparent...... Reason....."

posted by colin_hesse @ 1:36 PM  0 comments

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