Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Bill Simmons finally writes what the rest of us are too chicken to write for fear of offending people.

The WNBA..... is terrible.

Sure, I will give a "huzzah" to the Storm for winning last year and possibly defending that title this year. That is an accomplishment.

But it's not a major sport. Not even close. I, like Simmons, tried to watch Game 1 of the Storm-Comets. I saw horrible shooting, poor passing, and turnover after bloody turnover. I couldn't make it through five minutes. Neither could my wife, who would rather watch the Mariners with Ryan Franklin on the mound then the WNBA.

I, unlike most people, have actually BEEN to a WNBA game. I went last year to a game in Spokane where the Storm battled the New York Liberty. There were probably 200 of us in the arena.... tops. They had to pipe in fake cheering during the introductions, because it was quieter then an audience at a symphony. Lauren Jackson, who won the MVP award, was terrible, making, like, 3 shots all game. Betty Lennox threw up ugly shot after ugly shot, reminding me of a certain pudgy high-school friend of mine who thought that he was THE BOMB at basketball and would continually awkwardly drive to the basketball before hoisting up a shot from his chest that had no shot of going into the hoop. Sue Bird looked nice, and, quite honestly, was the only reason to watch that game, but even she couldn't shoot a lick except on the free-throw line. There was several LOOOOOOOONG scoring droughts, to the point where I thought I was watching high-school basketball, because they were scoring 20 points a half. There were no spectacular plays, nothing that would make you get out of your seat and cheer. Just "good fundamentals", which must mean something differently then I always thought it did.

Simmons reminds me that this league has been around for 9 years. WHAT? 9 years? You would have to believe that 9 years would be plenty of time to develop a wide-enough talent pool to up the pace and overall quality of the game. Nope. How about remotely watchable? Nope. The audience is nil and decreasing, the sponsorship is nil, the fire is nil (except if you're Steve Kelley and you call the Storm the best ticket in town, thus earning yourself a rightful place in "Stupidest Sports Pundits of All Time," joining fellow Seattle-ite John "Seinfeld = Sports" Levesque).

As Simmons says, there are no solutions to this. I am all for equal rights for the opposite gender. However, the laws of the marketplace, and economic Darwinism, stipulate that this is a survival of the fittest. The WNBA simply does not have the adaptive capability to survive. There is no profit curve magically appearing on the horizon, and it sucks that proper NBA teams have to subsidize their female counterparts.

Stern. Let it go. It was a nice thought, but it just doens't work.

P.S. Address all hate comments to Gavin

posted by colin_hesse @ 1:55 PM  1 comments


At 4:45 PM, Blogger Gavin said...

Gavin sucks.


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