Crushed Optimists

We are twin brothers who grew up in Central Washington. This blog is devoted to the life of Seattle sports fans, as well as various other topics that we will espouse for your enjoyment. We could be called another OFFICIAL SEATTLE SEAHAWKS site, but we'll take our uneducated crack at the Mariners, Sonics, and Huskies as well. A Seattle Sports Blog? Must be the land... of crushed optimism!

Monday, July 11, 2005

The Bobby Abreu Show - Live Blog


1st round of the Home-Run Derby:

-- Before any swings took place, Damon and Piazza joined some rock band to "kinda" sing along. I have never seen Piazza look more like an absolute moron then trying to hit the cymbal with one drum stick while the drummer is still playing the song. Damon actually looked like he belonged with the band. His long hair and doped-up look fit in perfectly.

-- What in the world is with those orange National League uniforms? Those are the ugliest uniform I have seen with anything from the University of Oregon.

-- Chris Berman is announcing, as he does EVERYTHING now. I think he has a contract with all major sports to make an appearance at all events. Personally, I think he should stick to football. His "back, back, back" grates on me after a while. My announcer of choice? Kenny Mayne, who is hilarious. Does anyone remember his home-run SportsCenter commercials a few years back? Gold, especially the Griffey references. Can anyone remember the catch-phrases, because they escape me for some reason.

-- Again, not a fan of the "world" format. Who would I rather see, Jason Bay.... or Miguel Tejada? Choi or Ramirez? This ain't rocket science.

-- 1st up, Bobby Abreu, who promptly hits 24 home-runs in a round, breaking the old mark of 15 by Tejada last year. This was unbelievable. He was lights-out, hitting one ball 517 feet! He is a brilliant player, and it showed. Berman ran out of inane comments to say, and we were only at the first player.

-- Jason Bay represented Canada by hitting 0 home-runs. Poor Canada. Still no hockey, and their representative sucked. Don't get me wrong, I like Jason Bay, but he pulled a Bret Boone in the derby.

-- Carlos Lee, a real home-run hitter, made his own case to win this sucker by plating 11, which should be enough to move him to the next round. I remember him KILLING the Mariners year after year, especially at Safeco Field.

-- Choi = should not be here. 5. All the space I will waste on him, even if he does end up making the 2nd round.

-- Is it essential for Reggie Jackson to be interviewed every Home-Run Derby? I swear he gets a special interview every single time. Guess what, ESPN? He has nothing new to say. Nothing. He was a Yankee and an Angel, hit a few home-runs, yadda, yadda, yadda. Don't care, get out of my sight. Berman, "It can't be a Home-Run Derby without Mr. October." Um, why? Is it October and I didn't notice?

-- The home town favorite Pudge Rodriguez puts on a little show. Again, better then the 0 Boone gave the Safeco crowd in 2001. I'm still a little steamed about that, as the fireworks there were left to Jason Giambi and Luis Gonzalez. I'm cheering for him to be in the top 4, and it looks like he obliges with 7, including one that traveled 442 ft, not a chip shot (not that any home-run is a chip shot in Comerica).

-- By the way, I won't have a separate blog entry about this, but congrats to Bavasi for getting anything for the Boone. Sure, it will probably be a lackluster prospect, but that is one prospect better than I thought we would get. I hope that Boone does ok, but I expect him to hit about the same as Seattle.

-- Teixeira, representing the U.S.A. I am so proud. My heart is in my throat. Obviously I was not the only one, because he only hit 2. Gooooooooo AMERICA!!! Tell me again why Vlad Guerrero couldn't have been in this?

-- David Ortiz better get into the 2nd round. He needs 6 in order to pass Choi and stop the nightmare that would be Choi getting another chance in the semifinals. Part of me really wants him to lumber around the bases with every home-run, especially if he does some of that awkward pointing to the sky and the team with a few chest-thumps thrown in for good measure. Unintentional comedy: players like Melvin Mora gasping over fellow countryman Bobby Abreu while Miguel Tejada begins to massage David Ortiz's huge thighs. Drink in that picture in your mind. Drink it in. By the way, Ortiz hits 17 and advances in what would have been the round of the Derby if Abreu hadn't already hit 24. It is still good enough to be the 2nd best ever single-round total in Derby history. Excellent.

-- The best kid catcher in the outfield is some small dumpy fat white kid who is getting to every fly ball. What is up with that? This kid is a better athlete then me or something.

-- Andruw Jones is last to go. He has quietly put together one heck of a season so far. If the Braves win the NL East this year, I will be the most impressed with them I have ever been. However, he misses the cut with 5 long-balls.

On to the 2nd round.... (Abreu, Lee, Pudge, Ortiz)

-- Abreu just looks a little tired after his onslaught in the first round, and he manages only 6 this time around. It remains to be seen if that will do it, but there is nothing for him to be ashamed of. Meanwhile we get the enjoyment of watching a hard-hitting interview (not) of Bud Selig by the Swami and Joe Morgan. A lot of arse-kissing goes around, and I tune them out, instead trying to watch the Derby.

-- Lee doesn't seem as tired, as he hits a few blasts to deep center field, which is no small potatoes at this ballpark. Somehow he only gets 4, though, and it is almost certain that his day is done.

-- The Detroit Tiger will go to the finals! Rodriguez hits 8 to advance. And these weren't chip-shots by Pudge, they were monster blasts. Carlos Lee is eliminated. Great job by the home-town hero, though he says, "This is all for Puerto Rico". Ummmm, what about a shout-out to the fans of Detroit, there, Pudge? Remember them? Reason #467 why this format sucks like the Rally Monkey.

-- Some guy won a new car because Andruw Jones hit it on the tarp. Whoohoo. Meanwhile I'll continue driving an 11 year-old minivan.

-- Ortiz seems to be another victim of fatigue as he is continually late on the pitches, hitting them to center field instead of pulling them down the right-field line. He gets 3, and I get more and more tired of Chris Berman.

Finals (Abreu, Rodriguez)

-- If you can't tell by now, the excitement has dimmed after the first round. Everyone is tired, and there has been a little too much Berman. But, hey, we got Venezuala against Puerto Rico, so, well, great, right? Venezuala? Puerto Rico? Huh? Loud Hispanic broadcasters pretending this is soccer? Huh?

-- Berman can say homerun in French. I suddenly remember that I will never live tonight again. A tear runs down my cheek.

-- Abreu is first up to the plate. He starts with 2 quick outs, but then gets on the board. He doesn't get another until the 5 out mark. This is when he starts to heat up, and besides a check swing, he gets up to 8 with 6 outs. This should be enough to beat Pudge, but Abreu gets a few more and ends with 11. He hit 41 in the derby. That is unbelievable. This is his night.

-- There is no way Pudge can match that. And he doesn't, hitting 5. Abreu deserved this one. Massive props to him. I'm done with this. I'm especially done with Berman trying to speak Spanish. Good night, everyone!

posted by colin_hesse @ 8:24 PM  0 comments

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